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Random top 5 lists for your enjoyment! Everyone likes lists!

Shawn Michaels Vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts, in good ole Mid-South Wrestling! May 14, 2017

Filed under: WWE — cowboyography @ 1:05 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hey everyone, here is my quick review of a classic match that most folks never got a chance to see. HBK Shawn Michaels takes on Jake “The Snake” Roberts in a great Mid-South battle in Louisiana. Jim Ross shows up along with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Ted Dibiase and Dr Death Steve Williams plus many more! Enjoy…

 

 

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Wrestlemania 31… Predictions, Breakdown, and Opinion March 26, 2015

Filed under: WWE — cowboyography @ 10:13 am
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So here we are, heading down the Road to Wrestlemania, only hours have past since the go home show sent us home. Now some of you may be very excited for this years Mania and that’s great! On the other hand many of you believe this will be a lackluster year with all eyes on the big stage that will be Dallas and Jerryland next year for Wrestlemania 32. I fall somewhere in the middle, and the following is the breakdown of the matches of Mania and how I think things will play out. A side note, I do not read any dirt sheets and I am in the dark to all this, I live in Australia and the WWE buzz is zero here.

    rusev-cena Rocky vs Drago? Not Quite, well no not even close.

Rusev Vs Cena

I like Rusev, and when I say I like him I really mean I cannot stand him, so I think he is a great heel, and the WWE desperately needs top heels in the near future. This match has had minimal build up yet it is one of the most established matches of Mania, that says something about the product these days. So the story goes, Rusev is the undefeated giant from Russia, Cena is the “underdog” American fighting for his country, a tried and true formula that the WWE has gone to many times before. Both men have gotten over on each other over the past couple of months and both have shown they have what it takes to take out the other guy.

What I hope Happens- Personally I hope that Rusev wins, and wins big, let this man destroy Cena and hold the US Title for a long time, he should hold his Mania win over everyone’s head for the next year and keep the streak alive….

What I think will happen- Cena goes super-Cena on Rusev and wins via pinfall after a couple of AA’s and Rusev is buried to mid card status for the next year.

Bad-News-Barrett-wwe-37039614-500-500I am afraid I have some bad news… I can’t win a god damn match!

7 man ladder – Ziggler, Ambrose, R-Truth, Bad New Barrett, Daniel Bryan, Luke Harper, StarDust

This match sucks in my honest opinion, big matches like this look good on paper and in video games, however in reality this will be a spot-fest with two guys constantly in motion and 5 guys “injured” at ringside. There will be some great moments, and some daring high spots, for sure and to the casual fan this may be an entertaining match, but to fans of wrestling and storytelling this will be a mess of a match. The intercontinental title is a joke these days, just look at the champs record over the past month, what is he the Honky Tonk Man? At least honky lost due to count outs and cheating, Barrett has just straight up lost.

What I hope happens- I hope that Dolph wins, he is the shot in the arm that this title needs and the crowd would blow the roof off the place if he comes out on top, which could put them in a better mood for the title match, which could turn the crowd heel!

What I think will happen- My prediction is that Barrett retains here, the company likes him and wants him in a power spot, they like to screw Bryan and Ziggler and I could see a Sheamus run in to secure the title for Barrett.

WM30_Photo_140I hate battle royals, just look at that clusterfuck!

30 Man Battle Royal

If only this match meant anything at all… While the Royal Rumble winner gets the over the top prize of head lining Mania (which I can’t stand, see my Rumble article) the winner of this match is given a destructible trophy. Last year the big winner was Cesaro, what did he get out of it? Well he received a half-assed push with Paul Heyman that fell flat and sent him lower than mid-card hell. So the bottom line is that the WWE has all but told us, this match does not matter and the winner is insignificant.

What I hope happens- I don’t care

What I think will happen- I can see a couple of outcomes, first a showdown between Miz and Mizdow that ends with a full Mizdow turn as he eliminates his boss, I can also see Ryback winning to try and give him that push he needs to get back to the top tier of talent.

brockI eat babies and I thank god I have a spokesman

Reigns vs Lesnar

Yeah this match is next, because quite honestly I am more excited about a few other matches further down the list, so with that said lets cover “The Main Event”. Although we have all seen this Title Match coming far before the Royal Rumble was in the books this bout has no steam. To create steam you need two combustible elements going at each other, and aside from a couple of interviews we have seen Brock and Roman is the same ring once! What the hell!? WWF used to build up feuds for months, years even, Macho and Hogan at Wrestlemania 5 was set up at Wrestlemania 4! The prize for the Royal Rumble is to great, but that’s a whole other article… Another issue is that I don’t really care for anyone in this feud except Paul Heyman, I hope Paul Wins on Wrestlemania night, because he is the one who really deserves the belt. One good thing is that the WWE has signed Lesnar to a multi-year deal, so in theory this match can go either way.

What I hope happens- I hope we get the Reigns heel turn, as Heyman elects to hinder Lesnar and Help Roman get the win. The other great options is a Money in the Bank cash in, and let Rollins walk out of Santa Clara with gold in hand.

What I think will happen- Vince will force feed us Roman Reigns as he awkwardly stumbles through a sloppy match only to emerge the victor after a spear…. POOP

stingSting doing super hardcore gay phone sex and he is going into the HOF

HHH Vs Sting

I am rooting for this match to be classic, I believe it can be good in ring with some top notch high spots and false finishes. Here is the problem, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago – Take anyone of those in front of the following question, who would be the dream match-up for Sting if WCW/TNA would cross promote with the WWE/WWF? My answer would never have been Triple H. I do like both men and think they can get some good pops, I just hope the highlight is not their entrances. I am glad Sting finally spoke and had that good interaction with Stephanie on Raw, and I am also glad they addressed the issue of Sting is not here for WCW, but here for The Game.

What I hope happens- I wish there was some stipulation involved, stings career vs HHH’s power as COO, something like that, but since there is not, I hope Sting wins and we get a long slow burn for Mania 32 and we get Sting vs Taker.

What I think will happen- I think Sting will win

orton rollinsI wanna see some blood!

Orton Vs Rollins

My number one contender for match of the night, I love Rollins, as a heel and as a in ring preformer. Orton is a great presence and can really get the crowd to pop, while I’m not the biggest Orton fan I think he is good at what he does. I think we will get the usual J&J bits and I expect some really big spots from Rollins, this being the biggest match of his career. This rivalry has been built as brutal so I would love to see some color in this match.

What I hope Happens- I hope Orton does the favors and Rollins goes over, even if it’s a little J&J greasy. Rollins is a star on the rise, keep the jet pack on him let him win here and win the title before Summerslam.

What I think will happen- I am not real sure… this could go any number of ways, the WWE knows they have something great in Rollins so I think Randy take the fall after a hell of a battle.

bray-wyattWhat is in the urn? Has Bray stuck his wiener in the urn? Hmmmm?

Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt

Best for last? I hope so, I have been a WWE/WWF fan for so many years and the Taker has been around for many of them, I watched his debut at Survivor series live and he was the big bad guy during my childhood that I have grown to love. Bray is special, both in ring and on the mic, and the WWE has created an interesting dilemma by pitting these two demons against each other. On one hand we have the Taker with one loss last year, and completely MIA for an entire trip around the sun, on the other hand Bray Wyatt, possibly the future monster of the WWE. I honestly do not know why they didn’t use the Sting vs Taker card here but possibly next year in Texas, nothing like watching two old farts beating each other up in the Dallas heat.

What I hope happens- I hope Bray goes over in the match of the year. and buries the Taker for good. I don’t really care to see Sting fight anyone anymore so let the Taker ride off into the sunset, broken.

What I think will happen- Taker can’t lose again…. can he? I think taker wins, maybe some sort of hologram interference or some shit… I think Bray will not get his big push for another year or so.

Well there you have it folks, I will be writing a Wrestlemania follow up next week so check back!

 

Why the Royal Rumble has lost its luster January 18, 2015

rumble

I am a huge wrestling fan. I am a fan of nearly everything 80’s and with that comes Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, Andre The Giant and all the other fantastic wrestlers of that era. One of the best WWF pay-per-views of the late 80’s and early 90’s was a Pat Patterson creation known as the Royal Rumble. The rumble was an event where we would see belts change hands, hero’s rise from the rubble, and new rivalries were born. The mystique of the rumble was that anyone can win this thing and it could catapult someone to the top, if you don’t believe me look at the first two rumbles.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan won the first ever rumble back in 88, this was a 20 man match that followed the classic formula where every two minutes another participant entered the ring and wrestlers were eliminated when they were thrown over the top rope. Hacksaw was a mid-card guy at best, more often than not he was really just a jobber to the heel stars, often losing to the likes of Ted Debiase, The Giant and even Haku. So to have Duggan win the rumble really set the stage that anyone can win this thing and that made the event really something to look forward to.

The following year the event was expanded to 30 men and the event made its pay-per-view debut. The event this year featured even bigger names such as Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Ted Dibiase and Macho Man Randy Savage, but the man who emerged victorious was another guy nobody expected to win. When all was said and done Big John Studd threw Ted Dibiase over the top rope and had his hand raised in victory. Not to take anything away from John Studd but he was not that big at the time and had been out of wrestling completely for many years. Yet the WWF felt confident in giving the win to someone who was not on the top-tier of the company pantheon.

The reason the Rumble worked so well was perfectly exemplified in these first two years of the event, anyone can win this match, that is the draw, that is what puts an ass in every 18 inches. This is what also leads me to my point, the WWE Royal Rumble is nearly upon us yet again, and yet again 30 participants will rumble and only one man will stand victorious. The difference is that everyone in the world knows that one of only two, maybe three wrestlers will win the match. The problem is not the participants but rather the prize. Having the winner of the Royal Rumble headline Wrestlemania pigeonholes the Rumble into a very predictable match.

Last year it was almost inevitable that Dave Batista was going to win the rumble, we all figured that was the direction the match was heading in, so much so that I didn’t even watch the match. Why would I want to watch an hour long wrestling match where the outcome is all but guaranteed. It makes no sense to have such a huge match featuring 30 of the top names in the sport when everyone knows the winner this year will be either Daniel Bryan or Roman Reigns. If I had to give a prediction they will be the last two men remaining as that is the only way the WWE can create any drama in this match at all.

The bottom line is that the Royal Rumble is not broken and is easily salvageable. My suggestion is that they reward the winner of the Royal Rumble match with a title shot of their choice at the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view. This way they could let anyone win the Rumble without interference in the main event of Mania and this could also set up new feuds as the winner could challenge for the Intercontinental, or the  US Title. If this were the case you could easily see guys like Harper, Ziggler, or Ambrose having a chance to win the rumble and get the career boost they need.

Also check out my new podcast, AMERICA VS AUSTRALIA for a complete breakdown of which country got what right and what they got wrong.

Look for more wrestling articles soon and thanks for reading!

 

The 80’s, Bad idea for a wrestling promotion… Music Videos! December 7, 2013

So in the late 80’s Vince McMahon wanted to expand his empire, naturally he looked into pop culture, trying to capitalize on the youth of the day he decided that what the youngsters wanted was music, So he came up with this video, and he debuted it on Saturday Nights Main Event and explained that this video could be seen exclusivly on MTV! Needless to say this idea flopped but Vince was undeterred as it wasnt long after this the WWF released its Piledriver video sung by Koko B Ware. Proof that Vince didn’t have a true Midas touch, a few things he touched literally became turds in his hands! and since I do top 5 lists here are the top five things in this video that make me laugh…

#5- Paul Orndorf constant kissing of his own biceps

#4- The Hammer cannot sing

#3- Vince really wishes he was one of the boys

#2- George Steele looking more lost than that dude in Slingblade

#1- Shieky Baby

 

Top 5 events that changed Wrestling forever! April 26, 2013

Today’s top 5 list will be about those special moments in Wrestling history that forever sculpted the WWF/WWE. These are the moments us wrestling fans live for! Some of these are specific moments in time and some are time periods but you will all have to admit, these are why we watch, and if you notice we haven’t had a groundbreaking moment like any of these in recent memory, and that’s why the WWE product is so poor, Vince needs to remember what made the product so good to begin with! So here we go:

#5- The Sweet Chin Music Heard Round the World

We all love HBK, and one thing that made him so awesome was he had an awesome finishing move, Sweet Chin Music was just cool. It was devastating, it was show stopping, it could come from no where and that’s exactly where it came from during an episode of the Barber Shop on December 2nd 1991. Brutus Beefcake was trying to get the Rockers to come together as one, and it looked like it was working, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty gave each other a hug and just when it appeared the Rockers were going to go back into the Tag Team ranks HBK was born when he gave Jannetty one hell of a Sweet Chin Music, and then proceeded to toss Jannetty through the glass window of the Barber Shop! The reason this moment was so important was that The Rockers were a perineal crowd favorite and this tugged at the heart strings, it also gave rise to one of the biggest stars the WWF/WWE would ever have in Shawn Michaels, as this freed him up to work with Sherry Martel and enter into his notorious singles career. This clip also has one of the best commentary moments of all time after Jannetty gets face planted through the glass window Bobby Heenan says “Jannetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardism!” That’s brilliant!
Rockers divide on The Barber Shop

#4- Birth of the Attitude Era/Monday Night Wars

November 9th 1997 at the Survivor Series the WWE/WWF coined the term attitude era, but it had been coming for almost a year. The Monday Night wars were in full swing and the WCW was winning. The WWF hired a man named Vince Russo and though many wrestling fans hate Russo, he saved the WWF. With creative writing and a new take on what wrestling should look like Russo and McMahon brought forth some of the most notable characters in history, including Mankind/Foley, The Rock and of Course Stone Cold Steve Austin. This new era focused on an older crowd, ushered  in buckets of blood, and saw matches the likes of which have never seen before nor since. This era really kicked off with the rebirth of the Iron Man Match in 1996 when Bret Hart lost to Shawn Michaels in a match that lasted over one hour, we then saw a new type of Dead Man in the Undertaker. This era brought back the celebrity influence, when Mike Tyson began to appear in the ring. We also saw an influx of real fighter from the then brutal UFC such as Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackmon. Then of course we saw the amazing tandem of superstars in Rock/Austin/Mankind which gave us amazing, brutal, and unforgettable matches, that we will never have again in this PG era we are in. To bad too, because the epic Mankind Vs Taker Hell in a Cell was a spectacle that just cannot be recreated under todays family friendly landscape.

#3- Hogan Goes Heel

The idea was let’s do something that has never been done before, and the WCW did it, when Hulk Hogan the ultimate good guy turned his back on Macho Man on July 7th 1996, to embraced the Outsiders. First off, I just want to say this speaks volumes about The Macho Man as he is probably the only guys that could have given Hogan the bad guy push, if Hogan had turned on anybody else it probably would have turned them heel, but the Leg Drop hit Randy Savage and the crowd saw the writing on the wall. Hogan then gave his Billionaire Ted Speech and pledged his allegiance to the Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, with that, a new era of wrestling was ushered in. The Monday Night Wars was as much responsible for this turn as anything, because Eric Bishof new he had to do something to gain ratings, and the birth of Hollywood was the answer! Wrestling was forever changed, non wrestling fans begin to tune in to see what all the fuss was about, rating soared and a New World Order took over the Wrestling World. Unfortunately the WCW had the inmates running the asylum and things crumbled within a few years, however that day in 1996 without a doubt rocked wrestling to its core!

#2- McMahon Takes Over the World

It all started when Vince Jr purchased the then WWWF from his father in 1979, he renamed it the WWF and then in 1980 founded Titan Sports, He began recruiting talent from all the regional leagues and then acuired his centerpiece Hulk Hogan from the AWA. Wrestling at this point was a small time business, most wrestlers held other jobs and gathered in small halls for small shows, Vince had other ideas, he wanted to take the sport global, using television he took wrestling out of the Sportatorium and into Madison Square Garden. The visionary that is McMahon Jr. soon had accumulated all the talent from the regional groups and was set to deliver the final blow. He sold his time slot on television to Jim Crocket Promotions for one million dollars and with that money he set up the first Wrestlemania, a huge gamble that paid off. All of a sudden the once laughable WWF had become the place to be, the limelight, the real show.

#1- Hogan Beats the Shiek

Vince had the dream, he had the idea, but he needed a catalyst, and that was going to be Hulk Hogan. Freshly acquired from the AWA, Hogan saved crowd favorite Bob Backlund showing he was a babyface, and within three weeks he faced the Iron Shiek on January 23rd in Madison Square Garden. Hogan had appeared in the 1982 film Rocky 3. and had some level of stardom, but what was to follow nobody could have foresaw, except for McMahon. The match is not the greatest by any means, in fact it is pretty poor, but the spark was ignited and Hogan needed the Shiek to put him over as the fan favorite, his personality lifted his character and Hogan became a household name, everything Vince had wanted was coming to fruition. I do love the Shiek, he is classic and at a time that saw the Iranians as an axis of evil, it was the All American that brought him to his knees!

 

Top 5 crappy NES games I found myself playing the most as a kid April 17, 2013

Filed under: Video Games — cowboyography @ 8:25 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here are my top 5 games I couldn’t get enough of as a kid, my cousins and friends and I spent a lot of time on the NES, and the games on this list are the 5 that though aren’t that great, are still some of my fondest gaming memories. Now don’t get me wrong, I played the crap out of the classics- Metroid, Mike Tysons Punch Out, Contra, and the like, but bad games are like fat chicks, they need some luvin too!

#5 Rescue the Embassy Mission

This game was super sweet, it had 5 different levels and each one was really cool and really innovative. The first one that comes to mind was the sniper level, going from window to window picking off bad guys that would then plummet to their deaths, Too Cool! Then there was the repelling level, the object being to insert yourself into the bad guys headquarters, then there was the level in which you had to use awesome rolling techniques to avoid spotlights. I remember I never knew what the hell the story was but as a kid I would make up my own spy storylines and play this game endlessly! Great stuff!

embassy

#4 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

“Soon Khali Ma will rule the world!” We didn’t know what the hell it meant, but I still to this day use the phrase, it was repeated every time you lost all of Indiana’s lives. OK so the game was crap, a kinda of sidescrolling, yet not, game full of dudes in turbans. The rail carts would constantly run into each other spilling Indy to his death and one misstep, which happened more often than not would send Indy to a lava drenched hell of which only his iconic hat would survive. However the whip swinging and the licence alone kept us coming back for more torture, game after game! The point I suppose was to rescue the kids and collect objects like maps and swords but I don’t believe I ever got too far, even though countless hours were spent playing the game!

indy

#3 WWF Wrestlemania

This game had it all for a young wrestling fanatic, Hogan, Macho Man, even Honky Tonk Man, it had theme music, and you could collect your logo from the top of the screen and “Hulk out”. Yeah it looked ugly and the most powerful move was the headbutt and the ever so impossible to pull off body slam, but who could resist! This game also had an awesome option to set up a huge 8 man tourney, My friends and I would gather around and pick our wrestler (whoever got Million Dollar Man was screwed) then battle each other in the grand Wrestlemania 4 fashion! Watch out for Bam Bams cartwheels, and of course you could choose to be the legendary Andre the Giant! I was a huge WWF fan and that’s one of the main reasons this game found itself so often in my console, even above the far superior Pro Wrestling, proving that licensing goes a long ways!

WWF-Wrestlemania-2

#2 Friday the 13th

Another tough ass game that had a great license, Jason hunting was just to fun! The game would make us jump, curse, and replay day in and day out. I have so many fond memories of guiding the multiple playable character around crystal lake, lighting fireplaces in cabins and battling Jason’s mom’s disembodied head with machetes and torches to earn her sweater. Rowing across the lake to save poor helpless campers and doing everything I could to make it into day two. The game took many liberties such as where the hell did the Zombies come from? That aside the game was constantly plugged in to my NES due to my love of horror films, I just wished they had made a game based on the Shining!

jason

#1 Jaws

This game was intense! You had to navigate your little boat back and forth between two docks, the first time you reached the other dock you received the Jaws tracker, then each consecutive time you would gain power in your harpoon gun for the under water fights against jelly fish, small sharks and of course Jaws! But before you dive down do as much damage as you can by hucking cannon balls over the side of the ship. You could get crabs to help speed your swimming ability, the only kind of crabs you really want I suppose. Then when jaws was finally drained of all his life bar you went into the final sequence, this epic showdown involved watching his fin approach and when he got just close enough you had to strobe light the water which would pop him out at which point you had to spear him with the front of the ship! I still recall the first time I was succesful, awesome pixellated blood shot forth and sent the demon fish spiraling to the depths and I flew off into the sunset in my plane, wait that never happened in the film, oh well! My cousins and I played this game endlessly on my many vacations to Florida!

jawsdie

 

Hogans sex tape! “I feel like a pig” April 15, 2013

Filed under: WWE — cowboyography @ 1:31 pm
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For those of you who have not seen this yet, please watch… not to graphic but absolutely hilarious. Hulk Hogan nails Bubba the Love Sponges wife while Bubba waits in the other room, according to courtroom testimony (Hogan is suing over this) Bubba was shopping for Auto parts online! LOL The clip is full of gems including Hogan hoping to nail his sons girlfriends sister and that ringtone on his phone is Brooke, his daughter, a real family guy! But the best part is how not once but twice Hogan comments that he just ate and feels like a pig! TOO FUNNY!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xu3yc7_hulk-hogan-and-heather-clem-real_people