Random top 5 lists for your enjoyment! Everyone likes lists!

Josh Plays Everything! Jaws NES Perfect play! February 8, 2016


jaws cart

I hope you all enjoyed my last video of Gunsmoke- The 1 credit play through, I had a blast making it, so much in fact that I decided to beat Jaws with a perfect play! Thats right, Perfect, like Curt Hennig, so perfect its worth 300 points! Anyway, give it a watch and keep checking back as I plan to do a run of these videos over the next year involving all my Aussie friends and all my favourite games! GO BRONCOS!



Top 5 crappy NES games I found myself playing the most as a kid April 17, 2013

Filed under: Video Games — cowboyography @ 8:25 am
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Here are my top 5 games I couldn’t get enough of as a kid, my cousins and friends and I spent a lot of time on the NES, and the games on this list are the 5 that though aren’t that great, are still some of my fondest gaming memories. Now don’t get me wrong, I played the crap out of the classics- Metroid, Mike Tysons Punch Out, Contra, and the like, but bad games are like fat chicks, they need some luvin too!

#5 Rescue the Embassy Mission

This game was super sweet, it had 5 different levels and each one was really cool and really innovative. The first one that comes to mind was the sniper level, going from window to window picking off bad guys that would then plummet to their deaths, Too Cool! Then there was the repelling level, the object being to insert yourself into the bad guys headquarters, then there was the level in which you had to use awesome rolling techniques to avoid spotlights. I remember I never knew what the hell the story was but as a kid I would make up my own spy storylines and play this game endlessly! Great stuff!


#4 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

“Soon Khali Ma will rule the world!” We didn’t know what the hell it meant, but I still to this day use the phrase, it was repeated every time you lost all of Indiana’s lives. OK so the game was crap, a kinda of sidescrolling, yet not, game full of dudes in turbans. The rail carts would constantly run into each other spilling Indy to his death and one misstep, which happened more often than not would send Indy to a lava drenched hell of which only his iconic hat would survive. However the whip swinging and the licence alone kept us coming back for more torture, game after game! The point I suppose was to rescue the kids and collect objects like maps and swords but I don’t believe I ever got too far, even though countless hours were spent playing the game!


#3 WWF Wrestlemania

This game had it all for a young wrestling fanatic, Hogan, Macho Man, even Honky Tonk Man, it had theme music, and you could collect your logo from the top of the screen and “Hulk out”. Yeah it looked ugly and the most powerful move was the headbutt and the ever so impossible to pull off body slam, but who could resist! This game also had an awesome option to set up a huge 8 man tourney, My friends and I would gather around and pick our wrestler (whoever got Million Dollar Man was screwed) then battle each other in the grand Wrestlemania 4 fashion! Watch out for Bam Bams cartwheels, and of course you could choose to be the legendary Andre the Giant! I was a huge WWF fan and that’s one of the main reasons this game found itself so often in my console, even above the far superior Pro Wrestling, proving that licensing goes a long ways!


#2 Friday the 13th

Another tough ass game that had a great license, Jason hunting was just to fun! The game would make us jump, curse, and replay day in and day out. I have so many fond memories of guiding the multiple playable character around crystal lake, lighting fireplaces in cabins and battling Jason’s mom’s disembodied head with machetes and torches to earn her sweater. Rowing across the lake to save poor helpless campers and doing everything I could to make it into day two. The game took many liberties such as where the hell did the Zombies come from? That aside the game was constantly plugged in to my NES due to my love of horror films, I just wished they had made a game based on the Shining!


#1 Jaws

This game was intense! You had to navigate your little boat back and forth between two docks, the first time you reached the other dock you received the Jaws tracker, then each consecutive time you would gain power in your harpoon gun for the under water fights against jelly fish, small sharks and of course Jaws! But before you dive down do as much damage as you can by hucking cannon balls over the side of the ship. You could get crabs to help speed your swimming ability, the only kind of crabs you really want I suppose. Then when jaws was finally drained of all his life bar you went into the final sequence, this epic showdown involved watching his fin approach and when he got just close enough you had to strobe light the water which would pop him out at which point you had to spear him with the front of the ship! I still recall the first time I was succesful, awesome pixellated blood shot forth and sent the demon fish spiraling to the depths and I flew off into the sunset in my plane, wait that never happened in the film, oh well! My cousins and I played this game endlessly on my many vacations to Florida!



Top 5 Movie Baduys in Horror Films April 5, 2013

Today we are looking at the top 5 Badguys in horror films. Personally I love horror movies, not the slasher, hacker types although a few of those do make my list because they are just so well done. I think a horror movie that scares you two weeks later or gives you chills still is a movie worthy of being called true horror. All these badguys still make the hair on the back of my neck stand up and make me check in the shadows just to make sure nothing is lurking in the dark. So here we go:

#5 Michael Meyers – Freddy – Jason

OK so I cheated and made #5 a three-way tie of slashers, but I always group these villains into the same category, the original Slashers. The Friday series is so much fun to watch with a lot of Cheese involved but some truly scary moments especially early on. The first two films are what make Voorhees really shine In my opinion, forget the hockey mask, the bag over the head was far scarier! Kruger is the king of cheese but he had the power to hunt you in your dreams, as a kid that scared the hell outta me, and his back story was really creepy, the pedafile that was murdered and now hunts the children of Elm street to take vengeance upon their parents! Of course Michael Meyers is epic, from the mind of Mustaffa Akad, the most succesful low-budget movie of all time until Blair Witch took that title. The Halloween series gave birth to Jamie Lee Curtis and had the creepiest theme music ever! Love these three guys and had to put them on the list.


#4 Jaws

The shark had to make the list, he still scares people from going into the water, ask my brother-in-law. The absence of him from on-screen for most of the film made the shark even scarier, couple that with top-notch performances from Richard Dreyfuss, Roy Shieder, and my favorite Robert Shaw (See the original Taking of Phelam 123) and you have an instant classic! I loved going to Universal Studios just for the Jaws sequence! The sequels lost a lot of the luster the first one had as technology actually hindered the scares in my opinion. The opening scene is still one of the scariest beginnings to any movie, the girl skinny dipping solo and is overtaken by Jaws, it still holds up and for those reasons the shark makes my list at number 4!


#3 Buffalo Bill

Bill skins fifth! While Anthony Hopkins is remembered as the creepy one, and Jody Foster was the clever detective, in my opinion the scary one was Ted Levine as Buffalo Bill! The cross dressing, women skinning, psychopath that lured women with the sympathy of his broken arm and inability to load a heavy object into his van! The moth raiser was so epic that his line “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again” has become part of pop culture and still send shivers up my spine! The ending sequence has such a taut feeling that it is almost unwatchable by those who are faint of heart. Bill easily is a top 3!


#2 Leatherface

I’m talking the original Tobe Hooper masterpiece here. When they started shooting this low-budget film, Hooper himself didn’t realize what they were putting together, he was going for a funny, goofy horror movie, but instead put together one of the most horrific film of all time as well as creating an Icon in Leatherface. The second character on my list that wears other people’s skin as clothing (there is something inherently wrong about that) Leatherface is just a part of the most F’ed up family in movie history! The dinner scene is so tough to watch, not because its bad, but because it is so uncomfortable and evil. The screaming in this movie becomes hard to bear and some of the scenes involving Leatherface are so burned into my brain he had to make number two on my list. The scene where we are introduced to Leatherface still stands as one of my favorites of all time, when he clubs that dude with the mallet and drags him into the house then slams that sliding door, the sound, the imagery, it all culminates into one of the finest shots in my memory!


#1 Kubricks Manipulations in The Shining – The Hotel

So the best bad guy in history isn’t a person, its more an entity an on-screen presence, it’s the genius of Kubrick portrayed threw The Overlook Hotel, the madness of Jack Nicholson, the ghosts, and just the overall madness that occurs within this film. From the opening sequence Kubrick bombards us with imagery, music and uncomfortable ideas. From Danny’s friend Tony, and the “Shining” Mr Holleran to the sheer awkwardness that is Shelly Duvall, to the downright evil that Jack becomes this film stands as my favorite Horror film of all time. Nothing is explained, and that’s just fine by me, it opened the doors for so much debate that here we are 40 years later and people are still arguing about what happens on the screen. Is the film about the plight of the Native Americans in history? Could it be Kubrick is revealing to us that he filmed the moon landing! Or could it just be about a man going mad from cabin fever, and attempting to murder hs family… or all three plus some more! That’s the beauty of this film, nobody knows, and now that Stanley has passed, we will never know. That aside, some things are not arguable, this movie is disturbing and scary, the twins give me chills in every seen that they appear, Jack Torrence has a dominating screen presence that is absolutely horrific and lets not forget all the strange little things that Kubrick put in to mess with out heads… For instance in every scene that a person appears, a chair is moved for each person during cuts, Why? Then the typewriter, at the start of the film it is white, then it becomes a dark grey! Then the maze, it’s not in any shots of the hotel at the beginning, it just appears once the family is there! The final scene with Jack in the picture has so many explanations and yet nothing is concrete. The hotel itself is filled with impossible hallways and rooms, for example Ullmans office has a window to the outside behind the hotel managers desk, but Wendy walks behind the office later in the film and down a hallway… The hotel itself is an impossible maze! For these and many more reasons, Kubricks hotel makes number one on my list and number one in my heart and mind!


overlook3NO MAZE!